Love Locks or pyar ka thaga

Bengali Vs Punjabi food

After my marriage into a Bengali family, my whole grocery list changed. The first course of a Bengali meal is bitter, which is usually in the form of Shukto.

1. Raw banana or cooking banana
2. Drumsticks: tak
3. Pumpkin; tak; jhal
4. Beigun or Brinjal: sukto; sarsoin; jhol
5. Bari; charchari
6. Kerala or Bitter Gourd: sarsoin; fry; charchari; sukto
7. Potol or pointed gourd
8. Pepe i.e. Raw papaya: dal; jhol
9. Aloo
10. Rang Aloo
11. Mustard Paste
12. Chichange
13. Sim: tarkari; ga makha makha sarsoin
14. Saag: palak; pui saag; lal saag; mooli saag

All the vegetables are cut in long.

The ingredients needed for Tok are:

1. Mustard seeds or Paanch Phoron
2. Tamarind
3. Bari
4. Drum sticks
5. Mooli
6. prawns

Sukto: drum sticks; aloo; raw papaya; begun; raw banana, bitter gourd, drum sticks, kerala: cut all vegetables long, add panch foron, fry all the vegetable, add water, mustard paste and at the end ghee and milk.

How to make halka jhol:

You will need raw banana, pepe, aloo.
All veggies will be cut long.

First add some mustard oil, paanch phoron or kalo jeera, dry red chilli, fry the vegetables little, then add some water.Wait for the boil, then add turmeric, salt, red chilli and at the end jeera(it is a must).

You can follow the same recipe with Aloo, Kochu, baigun, bari and seem with or without mach.

In Bengali cuisine, nothing is wasted. Each and every part of the vegetables or plat is used. So, bengali do use flower for cooking, before marriage, I only knew about the gobi phool and after entering into a bengali household I came to know about other edible flowers like Bauk phook(Agastaya Flower); Kumro phool; Banana blossom; Sajana danta phool(drum stick flowers);Jukti phool also known as sneeze wort or green milkweed climber or green wax flower. 

Janam Din: Birthday traditions

In West Bengal, the mother prepares the special food for the birthday boy or girl. Payas i.e. rice pudding is a must that is prepared by the mother, however, mothers do not eat the birthday payas of their own son.

The special birthday thali includes:

1. 5 types of fries
2. Dal i.e lentil soup
3. Bhaat i.e. rice
4. Fish Preparation
5. If possible,  chicken preparation
6. 5 types of sweets i.e. Rasgula and Sandesh
7. Churchori

Thali Decoration:

1. One big dish with Rice in it with 5-types of fries
2. One small dish with home-made Payas at the center and 5-types of sweets
3. And rest of the dishes will go in small bowls around the platter.

Bengali Ranna: Bengali Cooking

A Bengali always crave for the Bengali food, no matter where (s)he is posted in the world. No matter, how delicious I cook, but a Bengali does not feel satisfied without Sukto, Charchari, halka macher jhol and tok, which are typical items of Bengali food.
Mustard and poppy seed paste based dishes are all-time favorites among Bengali's like sajana datar posto (drum sticks posto) or in mustard gravy or sajana datar charchari.

Jhal having Potato, danta, seem, vadi, tomato

1. Pui saager Posto: don't make it watery.
2. Baigun Basanti: Add little sarsoin or mustard seeds else it will ruin the whole dish by making it extremely bitter. While making the sarsoin paste, add green chili and a little salt with it.
3. Lentils: 
1. Sona moong dal: Raw mango dal
2. Massor dal: pepe diye massor dal (raw papaya in lentil soup) or lao dal
3. Urad dal
4. Chola dal
5. Toor dal
6. Macher matha diye mosor dal
7. Chana masala
4. Charchari:
1. bengun ucche charchari: Begun, seem, arbi, daler bari, saag, kumro, aloo, rang aloo, mooli with paanch foron, red dried chili, and mustard oil, if not niramish add Prawns.
5. Posto:
1. Ol kopir posto: Cut the ol kopi in thin long strips.
2. Aloo posto: Cut potato in charchari style.
3. Pyaz posto
4. Aloo pyaz posto
5. Ladyfinger posto: cut the lad finger in halves, little fry it, add posto and little water to boil the ladyfingers and make a thick gravy.
6. Chichinge Posto: Lightly scrape the chichinge and cut it in long slices and lightly fry and boil in posto paste
7. Drumsticks posto.
6. Sarsoin (Mustard): You can cook tomato(long, thick cut) with sarsoin for the thickness of gravy.
1. Kerala: always cut in round.
2. Drumsticks Sarsoin: cut in long slices, add a tomato and mustard paste and boil properly.
3. Ilish sarsoin
4. Begun Sarsoin
7. Niramish Jhol:
1. Kalo jeera or paanch foron diye niramish jhol: long cut vegetable: aloo, raw banana, pepe, begun: add panch foron in hot oil with red dried chili, fry all the long cut vegetable for a white then add water and boil it, add salt, red chili, turmeric and let it simmer for a while untill raw banana is soft. 
2. If not niramish: add fish.
8. Bhate bhaat:
1. Masoor dal with onion
2. Masoor, moong dal mix
3. Ladyfinger: make jharas bhaate with boiled potato
4. Potato
5. Begun: make begun bhaate with boiled potato
6. Tomato: make tomato bhaate with boiled potato
7. kumro
9. Maach (Fish):
1. Bhaja
2. Sasoin
3. Posto
4. Jhol
5. Jhal
6. Tel Jhal
7. Bhapa
8. Kaliya
9. Mali curry (in coconut milk)
10. Bhaja
1. Aloo
2. Beigun
3. Jharas
4. Potol
5. Ucche(Bitter Gourd)
6. Green onion and long cut potato.
7. Kumro flower fry
11. Mansoin (meat)
1. Kosa: served in flat plate
2. Jhol: served in bowl
3. In coconut milk
12. Rice
1. Plain rice
2. Jeera pulao
3. Fried Rice
4. Leek Rice
5. Basanti Pulao
6. Payas using Gobind Bhog chawal
13. Types of fish:
1. Aar maach: less bony
2. Betaki (barramundi): Paturi; fish fry; fish kabirazi
3. Bata: cooked entirely; it is a bony fish.
4. Chitol:
5. Kata pona
6. Chara maach
7. Ilish
8. sutki
9. Rohu
10. Pabda
11. katla
12. Pomfret
13. Prawn: Lao chingri
14. Galda
15. Mrigal
16. Mourala
17. Magur
18. Tilapia
19. Parshe
20. Koi
21. Khoira
22. sole
23. Tangra
24. Loite
25. Punti
26. Topshe
14. Dolma or potoler domla: Stuffed potol
15. Torkori
1. Gobi(big florets)+Beingun(long cut)+bari+kochu(long cut)+tomato(long cut) jhal
16. Eggs:

1. Egg devil chop

Banana flower

My fish journey outside India:

1. Cod fish
2. Wild caught Salmon(Pacific and Atlantic)
3. Halibut
4. Prawns
5. Basa
6. Pangasius
7. Forelle
8. Rainbow Trout
9. Pollock
10. Bluefin Tuna: Very expansive and usually used in Sushi
11. Dorada: Spanish fish
12. Tilapia

Maan Kochu bata with mustard

Bengali Spice:

1. Paanch phoron: Black mustard, yellow mustard, cumin seeds, onion seeds, saunf 

Types of Rice:

1. Basmati Rice: White or Brown
2. Jasmine Rice
3. Red Rice
4. Golden Sella
5. Parboiled
6. Sticky Rice
7. Rissoto i.e. Ambrosia Rice
8. Dehradun Rice
9. Raw Red rice: polished or unpolished
10. Wild rice

Jaggery(Gur):

1. Jhola gur
2. Kajoor gur
3. 
   

Bread:

1. Pitai Parontha
2. Muglai Porontha
3. Malabar porontha

Fish preparation:

1. Fish fry
2. Fish cutlets: Boil fish with little salt and turmeric and mash it with boiled raw banana and potato; season it and fry
3. Batterfry
4. Tandoori

Desserts:

1. Peethe(suuri chaler peethe)
1. Pati sapto
2. Cheena

Tip:

1. If drum sticks get dry, so soak them in water for some time before cooking.
2. 
   

Health Journey

Nowadays, people have become health conscious. With the sedentary lifestyle, life has also become challenging health-wise. With the advancement of technology and the medical field,  no decline in health issues seems noticeable.

1. Vitamin D: For the last two decades, the deficiency of vitamin D is heard quite often. Maybe it is one of the lifestyle blunders we are doing unknowingly i.e. following a fat-free diet. Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin,  and lack of healthy fats in our diet makes it hard to absorb enough vitamin D in our bodies despite taking enough sunshine or vitamin D supplements. Vitamin D supplements should be taken during daytime for better absorption into the body. The excess of Vitamin D in our body is not good for our bodies either.
2. Iron: Females usually suffer from the deficiency of iron due to monthly periods. Deficiency of iron is closely linked to hair fall as well. According to Ayurveda, vata dosha (the excess of air component) also causes hair fall. A regular good scalp massage for 6-months can help in thickening of hair as well as regrowth, some trials in research have shown encouraging results.
3. Vitamin B12: The main source of Vitamin B12 is animal meat. So, the deficiency of Vitamin B12 is more prominent in those who are vegetarian or Vegan. It can store into the lever. This injection is given in the muscle.
4. Magnesium: This mineral is easily gained or lost through our skin. So, a salt bath is a good source of Magnesium.
5. Probiotics: For healthy gut flora or microflora in our body, people take probiotics pouches. But, we should not take probiotics more than 2-3 months at a stretch.  
6. Wheatgerm
7. Macadamia nuts: Highest fat content among the edible tree nuts; good for skin and hair due to its fat.
8. Brazilian Nuts: Good for thyroid.
9. Kombucha: Fermented tea
10. Refresh Tears: For dryness and irritation of eyes.
11. MgO7: Mag O7 works to break down and remove intestinal debris, helping to create a balanced, healthy gut. Through it's unique and gentle formulation, Mag O7 also works to break down intestinal build up and remove unwanted waste.

1. Probiotic: I used to think that only eating healthy is enough for good health. However, it is partially true. No doubt, eating healthy is the first step towards a healthy body and living. When we eat the food, we first break down the food using our teeth, and enzymes present in our saliva also help to break down the food. It then is swallowed through the neck and goes down to the stomach through the food pipe. The stomach releases the acids (Jathar Agni) and a lot of enzymes that further break down the food. The stomach releases the enzyme called Pepsin, which helps break down the protein.  It next reaches the small intestine. Juices from the liver called biles help to break down the fat; also juices from the pancreas (insulin) and gallbladder helps to digest the food in the small intestine. Whatever food is not digested by the small intestine, reaches the large intestine where it absorbs the water and other useful things and rest is discarded as waste from the body. 
2. Germs are like the invaders to our bodies. There are four major types of germs:

1. Viruses: They thrive in living cells and cause diseases like chickenpox and the flu. To prevent it, get yourself vaccinated, or get shots or get an immunization. 
2. Fungi: Microscopic organisms that can cause rashes and athletic foot.
3. Parasite: That can cause diarrhea. For parasite cleaning, n alkali environment is required for stopping the growth of parasites inside our body. For this, people usually take Besan powder in Europe.
4. Bacteria: That can cause infections like strep throat and pneumonia. In the case of a bacterial infection, a doctor can prescribe the antibiotics.

So, to assist our immune system, we can take dietary supplements with natural bacteria and yeast cultures that regulates the balance of bacteria in our intestine. We need bacterial and yeast strains for the healthy intestinal flora and intestinal mucosa, vaginal flora, oral and pharyngeal flora. (https://www.burgerstein-biotics.ch/) . It is advised that we should not take the probiotic for more than 3 months at a time. 

Endocrine System: They produce hormones. The pituitary gland is a very important part of our endocrine system. The thyroid gland produces hormones which regulate how our body uses the calories from the food we eat i.e. metabolism. Adrenal Gland: It releases hormones to handle emergency situations. Pancreas: It is the largest gland of our endocrine system and produces insulin. Reproductive Gland i.e. ovaries and testes: they produce the estrogen and testosterone 

The nervous system handles the adrenal.

Water bottles and water filters: Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by the information and the modernization. In India, I have been brought up drinking the tap water. Then, we started using the filtered water and again shift came when we started using the bottled drinking water. Then, I heard about the BPA contamination, so further shift came with RO filtered water.

But, when I moved to Canada and Switzerland, I was amazed to see all the big grocery stores are stuffed with drinking water bottles. I asked many about this that why do we need filtered water bottles in developed countries where tap water is so pure and safe. Even I took a tour in Switzerland organized by the municipality about how water reaches in our homes and again asked this question why do I see so many filtered water bottles in the grocery stores when as they were suggesting tap water is so clean, refreshing and healthy. They said it is a big business and they can not comment much on this. It kind of satisfied my curiosity as Switzerland is a big capitalist country. 

But, lately, I come to know about the BPA and lead contamination in the drinking water while getting supplied through water pipelines. I only thought the water should be unpolluted but never thought the water supply pipelines made of PVC, brass and use lead as a stabilizer is of equal concern. Especially in Switzerland, where we take pride in saying that this house or building is 150-years old and so. So, it is quite possible that the water pipelines are made of old material and miss the recent guidelines, which results in water contamination. That is the reason that portable water filters and filtered drinking water is so common in the supermarkets.

Vinegar: It is acetic acid. While wine is ethanol. When wine is fermented with acetic bacteria, it turns into acetic acid.

Nature Love FOOTSPA: This natural therapy foot care treatment claims to promote healthy detoxification and helps to improve metabolism.

Sourdough Bread: This bread is better than regular bread because it is made by fermented starter than the standard baker's yeast. Therefore, it could be easily digested and causes no or less bloating after eating.

Pregnancy: Old wives' tales

There are certain fruits that one should avoid during pregnancy like papaya and pineapple because they may induce labor pain or cause miscarriage.

Infancy: Zincovit Drops are very popular for the infants and ensures infection free infancy. I did not have any idea that infants do need to take the multivitamins and minerals until a friend of mine requested me to bring a bottle of Zincovit drops for her daughter.

One should not drink green tea while pregnant because green tea has too much of caffeine in it.

Montessori Mama

Relationships

I have seen that after a while relationships start fading. One such reason is that we start taking our relations quite casual and for granted. Listening, touch, appreciation, and food are such small gestures that keep the relationships alive.

Expectations play a very important role in making or breaking a relationship.

Blame game: It is often seen that blame game starts in the relationships. There is a very good story of a jug, glass,  and cotton. The story goes like this that one day a jug get struck with a glass and both get broken. So, jug blames glass and so does the glass blames glass. This is exactly what we do in our lives, we start playing the blame game and held others responsible for all our miseries. What if, glass strikes a cotton, nothing will happen. So, the message is if we make ourselves flexible like a cotton, then no one will get hurt in a relationship. 

Babas and gurus of India

India is a land of yogis. In each and every corner of this land, you could find the self-realized ones. Their teaching helps to fulfill our spiritual needs. At the end of the day, I do wonder what is the purpose of our existence. And, if you seek, it seems you understand, but still, there is some void.

I believe that religion is one of the tools to realize the spiritual needs of ourselves. And, religion has many layers. And everyone perceives the meaning of religion as per their own thrust and greed. Some only sticks to the layer of religion, which emphasizes on how to live the life. Some who seek deeper, want to draw upon the wisdom of how to understand the ultimate purpose of life.

All yogis or in today modern medical science calls them psychiatrists or psychologists, tell us how to control our senses so that we are masters of our own senses, and that is the meaning of ultimate empowerment.

1. Shiva Rudra Balayogi
2. 
   

Why I don't get bore while living abroad: experience of an expat

In western countries, they deliver so many fliers, newsletters, and newspapers at home free of cost, which are full of good information and if you like reading them then you can easily spend your time creatively and qualitatively.

The Internet is a must these days, which keeps you occupied for hours. With Facebook, WhatsApp, I wonder where my time flies.

You need to keep your laptop and mobile working and clean all the time. The camera in the mobile phone automatically makes you a good photographer. You start clicking pictures and so regularly need to take the backup.

I have always loved reading books. I have a good collection of books. After all, leaders are readers. I was amazed to learn that Bill Gates reads 50 books a year, and same is true for other global leaders like Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg(24 books) and the trophy for reading goes to Warren Buffet who spends 80% of his time reading. No wonder, what is the secret of their success. 

1. Scarlet letter: this book has been banned in US high schools.
2. Catcher in the Rye: this book has been banned in US high schools.
3. Moonwalk: Michael Jackson's Autobiography.
4. Momo by Michael Ende: It is a German classic children's book.
5. The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz 
6. Bengal Nights
7. It does not die

I love watching short films. And, on youtube, there is such a large collection of short films. There is a whole genre called 'Anthology' literally meaning collection or compilation or selection, which I have started liking now.

1. Pressure cooker
2. Murabba
3. Ship of Theseus
4. Justju: Longing- A short-film highlighting the urban loneliness.

I love listening to the radio, it is my childhood memory. Another thing, which connects me to my childhood is reading newspapers, magazines, storybooks.

I love to read short stories of Rabindranath Tagore like:

1. Chandalika
2. Parrot's education
3. Chitragandha

I love participating in online surveys and focus groups.

I love shopping like any other woman. I have very typical choices while shopping so it could be pretty quick or may take hours.

Cooking and eating out are both my favorites. No Indian party is complete without the dance.

I also like to express my emotions in the form of poems:

1. https://exploringworldforever.blogspot.com/2018/11/blog-post.html
2. https://exploringworldforever.blogspot.com/2017/09/blog-post_8.html
3. https://exploringworldforever.blogspot.com/2017/09/blog-post_7.html

Watching Bollywood movies:

1. Omkara: Based on the play 'Othello' of William Shakespeare.

Ganesh Churthi

This festival is celebrated in honor of Lord Ganesha i.e. the elephant god.
For prayer and offering, we need to prepare the pooja thali with fresh flowers, garland, metal bell, Ganges water, Incense, oil lamp, sindoor, and fan for god. We need 5 types of fruits, coconut, sweets, and panchamrit for the offering. Decorate the prayer room with flowers and lights. For Ganpati pooja, Modak sweet is offered to the lord.

Why life is so challenging

We read and talk so much about positivity and empowerment, the grass is always greener on the other side, blah blah blah, does that really encourage us. Sometimes, we fear that we must not lose hope in the tough time, sometimes we fear for our closed ones that they should not give up in the challenging times. It reminds me of the Bollywood movie Sainik, which portrays this thing so eloquently.

We have made our world so structured, those who do not conform to this structure seem left out. When humanity started its journey, it was all about survival. Things developed, progress happened, science, business and economy boomed, but I wonder what was for this all progress.

I agree medical science is so advance, so have become our health conditions so complicated. Social media has grown exceptionally, so is the case for depression and loneliness. Our life has comfort, but no security, no peace of mind. Air, land, oceans, space, everything seems compromised. There is so much pollution everywhere, not only our physical world, rather our spiritual and religious world has also become corrupted and shallow.

Another thing is that we always keep thinking either about the past or future and it keeps our mind always occupied. As our body needs rest, our mind also needs rest. And, meditation is one such tool that keeps our mind relaxed and gives us control over our own thoughts so that we can keep the negative or unwanted thoughts at bay.

An expat experience of living in Switzerland

When we move to a new country, we have to be prepared for many challenges and open-minded to learn and experience many new things.

Regarding setting at a new place, which in this post focused on Switzerland, you need to explore the canton website to find much useful information:

1. www.contakt.stadt.sg.ch (for the St. Gallen canton)
2. www.integration-sg.ch (ARGE)
3. www.solidaritaetsnetz.ch
4. www.aidasg.ch
5. HEKS MosaiQ Ostschweiz: for career counsiling
6. Resident Card: When you enter Switzerland as a nonimmigrant temporary resident like as a student or worker, you need to visit the town hall and get your resident card. It is like your identity card. 
7. Rent the apartment: For this, you need a document issued by the local cantonal office. 
1. Security Deposit: You need to deposit 3 months rent as a security deposit.
2. You need to get household insurance.
3. You need to get 3 sets of Nameplates: i. outside the apartment ii. for the post box iii. for ringing the bell by the visitors
4. You also need to pay the address change fee every time you change the apartment
5. Also, discuss whether it is a rolling contract or fixed term
8. Bank: You need to open a local bank account with a refundable bank opening fee. Don't forget to apply for the credit and debit cards as you would need them for online shopping or bookings. Also, get an online banking facility so you can pay the bills online.
9. Travel Card: Switzerland has one of the best transport networks and it is very expensive too. However, they have different schemes for daily commuters as well as for tourists. So, get a suitable travel card for yourself and save a fortune. 
1. Get half-card
2. For the daily commute, if you get the tickets in advance, you save the money.
3. Supersaver: If you book the train tickets in advance and online, you could find discount offers.
4. You can also get the day pass from the city at a reduced price.
5. Coop and Interdiscount: You can also get the flexible day pass from the Coop and Interdiscount at a reduced price and get it stamped when you travel, but make sure to use them before it gets expired.
10. Job: If you are seeking a job, do register yourself at the local unemployment office, if there is any. Always keep the copy of your employment contract and salary slips safely as you need them to show on different occasions. Visit RAV.
11. Taxes: Depending upon your resident status in the canton, you need to explore whether the tax is deducted at the source or you need to explicitly file the tax. 
12. Retirement plan and pension: It is an equally important decision to decide upon the retirement plan. In Switzerland, there are 3 pillars.
13. Work culture: It is very common in Switzerland to have corporate outings and tours, it is part of their work culture. As Switzerland has so many nature trails and diverse terrain, their activities basically involve this aspect of the region and help you to better integrate into the new country. Also, Switzerland is so famous for its chocolate, cheese, beer, and wine culture that the visits to these places is not uncommon and give you an opportunity to witness their diverse culture firsthand. Like "O-lauf" or orienteering, making of Biberli (a kind of gingerbread) in the local bakery.
14. Health and fitness: Swiss people are very health conscious. And, health insurance is one of the big expense. So, to keep me fit and healthy, I wanted to enroll myself in the gym. With this intention, I went to the gym and its trainer told me that you can take a free demo training. I thought after seeing the demo, I would decide whether I want to join this gym or not. After taking the training, to my big surprise, I found the bill for an annual gym membership at my home. Anyways, I have to take the membership in that gym, but I always wonder what if I did not want to take the membership in that gym. 
15. Health Insurance and health card: In Switzerland, health insurance is mandatory. So, you need to have the basis of insurance. 
1. For alternative medicines like homeopathy, Chinese medicine, you need to get the supplementary insurance.
2. I don't know, why in the western world,  you need to take separate dental insurance, which is usually very expensive.
3. You also need to confirm whether your complementary insurance covers the eyeglasses. As usually for dental and eyeglasses, there is another insurance category called, 'diversa'. 
16. Deciding factors before buying health insurance:
1. Deductible: How much you have to spend for covered health services before your insurance company pays anything (except free preventive services)
2. Copayments and coinsurance: Payments you make each time you get a medical service after reaching your deductible
3. Out-of-pocket maximum: The most you have to spend for covered services in a year. After you reach this amount, the insurance company pays 100% for covered services.
17. Doctor: You should register yourself with a house doctor or physician.
1. You should always go for the annual checkup.
18. Public Liability Insurance: In Switzerland, it is also advised to buy Public Liability insurance.
19. Integration: I always stress upon this that for better integration take part in the local events(e.g. circus, summer food festival, cultural events) and festivals(Halloween, Christmas).
20.  TV: Get a TV connection for your native language channels like Jadoo TV.
21. Internet: Get a local internet and home phone connect.
22. Mobile: Get the local mobile phone connection or sim card.
23. Language course: Enroll yourself in a language school to learn the local language.
1. www.deutschkurse.sg.ch
2. www.klubschule.ch
3. www.hds.ch
4. www.aidasg.ch
24. Home Furnishing: 
1. Bathroom: In Switzerland, you need to buy the bathtub rod for hanging the curtain.
2. You need special hooks for hanging the window curtains.
25. Money Transfer: 
1. Transferwise.com
2. Swiss Transfer
3. Western Union
4. Wired Transfer using online banking
26. Utility contract for Internet, Tv and phone
1. Internet: see the speed i.e. MBits/sec
2. Telephone: Call rates; VoIP; call rate to fix phone; call rate to mobile; call rate within country and internationally.
3. Tv: channels and features like recording and playback
4. Web hosting: for websites and blogs; mail hosting
5. Cloud service: for data backup
6. Domain

My lessons of life

1. Judgemental: This is one such thing which is being heard quite a lot these days. We often find ourselves complaining that people judge us. On the contrary, we equally judge the people. The change starts from the home, I believe if I make one small change in my life that I don't bother how people judge me and I also stop judging people around me, I believe that I will find my life more liberal and free.
2. Carefree life: I often find myself complaining about what kind of life is this, one challenge after another, is this the sole purpose of life. But, there is a saying, if you change your perspective, things become easier (नज़र बदलने से  नज़ारें बदल जातें हैं). Challenges will keep coming, we should be prepared for them. Then, we will not see challenges as challenges, rather as surprises.

Women or a confusion

I find it so amusing how do we stereotype everyone, and working women are no exception.

In the stories, movies or commercials, a working woman is obviously financially independent. She is usually portrayed as someone who can drive, drink alcohol, and travel independently.

While non-working women are never taken seriously. If you do not work outside, it does not suggest that you don't understand the market or how things work. A non-working woman can also travel independently, drink alcohol or be liberal and be a good driver.

We should not judge a person on the basis of his/her work profile.

Now time is changing and women have more opportunity to get empowered. Many platforms are opening for young and married women alike. Many social awareness programs like for breast cancer are also providing platforms for the married women to actively involved in the community, e.g. Mrs. India: Pride of Nation from the Gurgaon Glamour.

Many cooking shows are also giving the opportunity to the young, aspiring women to showcase their talents.

I always find it challenging what is right or wrong for a woman. Being a woman, I find it confusing to make the decision.

Empty Nest: a hard reality of aging in western world

I know an Indian lady in Switzerland, which is of the same age as my mother-in-law. I see how different is her life than my mother-in-law. She has two daughters and both of them are grown-ups. My mother-in-law also has two children and both of them are grown-ups. But, both of these ladies have so different lifestyles. Both of them are equally busy.

A daily routine of my mother-in-law:

1. She wakes up early (around 6 am) in the morning. 
2. She switches on the water motor to fill the water tank upstairs.
3. She first gets fresh, cleans her teeth and then takes her medicines empty stomach. 
4. Then, either she takes bath first or at least changes her cloth. Basi clothes or changed clothes will be simply washed in the water and will be hung outside for drying.
5. Then, she wipes the kitchen counter, as in West Bengal, tik-tiki i.e. lizards keep roaming in the dark during the night, so it is precautionary to wipe clean the dining table and kitchen counter before starting any cooking.
6. She plucks the flowers for the pooja.
7. If she has taken the bath already, she will open all the windows of the house.
8. Then, she will go upstairs, water her plants as well as the holy basil i.e. tulsi.
9. She will wash all the pooja utensils and clean/wipe the prayer room.
10. She will decorate all the deities with flowers, picked from own roof garden. 
11. She will offer the sandesh ( a milk-based Bengali sweet), nokul dana and water to the deities, burn an incense stick, abhishek (i.e. bath) the shivlingam with water, and will recite the holy mantras or Lordess Lokhi panchali. 
12. The man of the home will bring the newspaper, telaebhaja i.e. fried items for the breakfast, fish or eggs for the lunch, fruits, and vegetables, sweets for the pooja, if required special flowers for the pooja, dahi usually for ekadashi or any other upas (i.e. fast) and milk for the tea.
13. She will keep the tea for boiling. She will wash the milk packets and then will keep the milk for boiling. Empty packets will be stored, maybe for selling later.
14. She will enjoy her tea with only two biscuits.
15. She will keep a cup of tea for the maid who will broom and wipe the house and will wash the dishes from the previous night.
16. If everyone has wakened up, then she will first fold the mosari i.e. mosquito net, and then make the bed properly followed with broom clean. Bengalis are very particular about their bed sheets being folded properly.
17. She will wash the rice and lentil separately for the lunch and soak it.
18. She will first wash the eggs properly before storing in the refrigerator or boiling.
19. She will sort out all the vegetables and keep them in the refrigerator and keep some aside for the lunch.
20. After having the tea and doing the bed, she will start cutting the vegetables for lunch.
21. She will keep boiling the lentil and rice at two gas ovens. She usually cooks the rice at the separate oven at the end.
22. She will wash the fish properly, and apply the turmeric and salt and keep it aside in the kitchen.
23. Then she will prepare a vegetable item for the lunch and leftover of the same vegetable will be used for the dinner. 
24. If she needs to wash any clothes that day, she will soak it first in the morning in a bucket.
25. After doing the pooja, she will close down some of the house windows as it starts raining there heavily and suddenly. Now she will eat the breakfast which is usually muri i.e. puffed rice with fried items and cucumber and water.
26. Once, veg food items have prepared, she will prepare the non-veg items, usually fish and on Sunday, it is chicken.
27. In the end, she will put the rice to boil.
28. As soon as she finishes cooking an item, she shifts it to the serving bowl and keeps the bigger utensils like hari, kada for the cleaning.
29. When maid arives, she first brooms all the rooms and wipes them. Then she washes the outside area and all the dirty dishes. My mother-in-law warms the tea for the maid and serves her with two biscuits or fried items or sweets.
30. Once lunch has cooked, she will switch on the water filter and starts filling all the water bottles.
31. If it is around 12, she again switches on the water motor to fill the water tank.
32. She wipes the kitchen counter and brooms the whole house again before serving the food.
33. After having the lunch, she wipes the dining area and closes the kitchen.
34. She will then wash her hands and feet and comb her hair, she might also change her saree.
35. It is already around 2.30 pm or 3 in the afternoon she will switch on the tv, will read the Bengali newspaper for a while and take a nap.
36. When she will wake up around 5, she will prepare the tea for her and enjoy with either muri-telaebhaja or the other evening snack. She will also wipe all the washed utensils with dish or rea towel and arrange them in the kitchen. 
37. At the sunset, when it starts getting dark around 7, she will do the sandhya arti after changing her clothes.
38. Either she will someone to buy the rotis for the evening or she will prepare it before making the evening tea for her.
39. Now, she will switch on the tv and starts watching the serials one after the another.
40. At that time, she will also cut and chop the vegetables for tomorrow morning.
41. If her saree blouses are loose or tight, so she will adjust them at this time.
42. Around 10, she will again broom the bedroom, she will clean and make the bed. Hang the mosquito net.
43. After dinner, she will keep the dirty dishes aside, wipe the dining area.
44. She will brush her teeth before sleeping and take her medicines before sleeping.
45. She will also burn the mosquito repellent coil as well before sleeping.
46. She also keeps a water bottle aside at her bed table.

A daily routine of a Swiss-German lady in Switzerland:

1. She does wake up around 6 in the morning.
2. She makes her bed and bathes.
3. For breakfast, coffee or tea, with a slice or two of bread with honey, butter, cheese, jam or jelly, and a boiled egg.
4. She puts all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
5. Depending upen the day and time slot of her laundry, she puts all the dirty clothes in the laundry basket and washes them on the preplanned laundry day.
6. She vacuums the house twice a week using a vacuum cleaner.
7. Around 10, she eats an apple or drinks juice.
8. She quickly prepapes something for the lunch, bread, lentil or a vegetable. 
9. For the dinner, it is usually a salad and she concludes her day with a glass of warm water.
10. During the daytime, she is very active. She drives the car, goes walking or swimming or biking or sauna bath.
11. On the weekends, she goes hiking/trekking along with swimming in the lake or pond.

What I find is that as my Swiss neighbor's daughters have grown up, so she does not need to cook on a routine basis. If she is at home, she cooks, else she eats something healthy at a restaurant or buys a takeaway. In the western country like Europe, Canada or America, once children are of the age of 16 or 18, they move out and stay independent. Thus, their nest becomes empty. It does have its own consequences, like depression or loneliness. 

While, in India, my mother-in-law has a responsibility of my unmarried brother-in-law. She has to prepare the food, clean and maintain the house. In India, visitors don't call or make an appointment before the visit as is the case in the foreign country.

If you do not buy the milk in the evening hours, it becomes very hard to find the milk. If my mother-in-law doesn't fill the water tank in the morning, you may have to face the shortage of water during daytime. If you don't buy the fish in the morning, you may end up finding a poor quality fish. 

Bengali Bahuma diary : Satyanarayan Pooja

At every Poornima i.e. full moon day, usually, Satyanarayana pooja takes place. It is an elaborate pooja. Many preparations are needed to be done before the pooja. In West Bengal, Satyanarayan pooja is very common. When I got married in a Bengali family, the first pooja I observed after marriage was SatyaNarayan pooja. After Durga pooja, next comes the lokhi (Goddess Lakshmi) pooja, so many people also conduct lokhi pooja along with Satyanarayan Pooja. I was new to this pooja tradition, so I had a challenging time while preparing for the pooja.

Following is the list of items needed to be arranged before pooja:

1. Havan or hom:
1. Hom kund
2. Sand
3. Mango wood or sticks
4. Ghee
2. Sinni:
1. wheat flour
2. Banana
3. Sugar or jaggery
4. dry fruits: Panch meva
5. Milk
6. Honey
3. General:
1. Flowers
2. Incense sticks
3. dhoop
4. Camphor or kapur
5. Ghee 
6. Candles
7. Ganga water
8. Sindoor: To draw on the ghat filled with water to be placed at the entrance with banana leaves put in the Ganga clay
9. Pan patta: 5 Beetle leaves
10. Supari: 5 Beetle nuts
11. Banana leaves: to be placed at the entrance
12. Mango leaves 5 headed to be placed upon the Kalash
13. Janeu or poitey thread
14. Sweets or sandesh
15. coconut
16. 5 types of fruit: pomegranate 
17. 5 types of vegetables: eggplant, cucumber, potol, 
18. 5 types of kalai
19. Cardamon: elachi
20. 2 Gamcha or towels for purohit and to be placed upon the Kalash
21. Ganga Mitti or clay
22. Sandalwood stick and sandalwood bata
23. Small steel bowls for sandalwood and sindoor 
24. Alpana
25. flowers
26. flower garland
27. cotton or tulo
28. setay: lamp wicks
29. Batasha: Lakshami ji's favorite
30. khoi : a variety of puffed rice, chire, murki
31. Mishti doi i.e. sweet yogurt
32. Rice
33. Nokul dana
34. tulsi leaves i.e. holy basil leaves: no pooja of Lord Vishnu is completed without Tulsi leaves.
35. Red cloth: to be placed on the pooja chowki
36. dhuboo : tri-headed grass
37. Sugar
38. Dab i.e. green coconut
39. Grated coconut
40. Kathali kola: small bananas for the pooja
41. Moli: to be tied on hand
42. Aasan for the purohit and attendees
4. Pooja Utensils
1. Kansar Ghanta: It is played only during Satyanarayana pooja, not at the time of Lakshmi Pooja
2. Ghanti
3. Conch shell with stand: Jal Sankha with stand
4. Panch Pradeep
5. Kapur dani
6. Matchsticks or lighter
7. Kosha koshi
8.  jhinuk bati
9. Diya for arti
10. Incense stick stand: dhoop kathi stand
11. 5 Coins
12. Knife
13. ghat or Kalash: it could be of terracotta or bronze
14. Dhunuchi i.e. dhuno dani 
15. Dhuno powder mix
16. Hand Fan for the dhuno
17. ghoti or kamondulu
18. Panchpatra and Achmani
19. steel glass
20. steel plates or thala
21. plastic plates and cups for the sinni
22. A big bowl, and Hatha or spatula for mixing the sinni
23. bael Patta for Lord Shiva
24. Hibiscus or red java flower for Lordess Kali

1. First thing, you need to properly clean the place where pooja will take place.
2. Now put the wooden chowki and cover it with a red cloth.
3. At four corners, around the table, place Ganga clay balls inserted with Mango sticks.
4. Draw the alpana at the place of pooja, in front of the wooden table.

1. Havan or fire sacrifice take place during this pooja, so you need a havan or hom kund.
2. Prepare 5 small plates, each filled with 5 types of cut fruit accompanied by 5 small glasses of water.

Other important Poornima thithis are:

1. Dal Poornima
2. Magh poornima
3. Rakhi Poornima

India Diary

India is a land of festivals. Every season is adorned with its own special festivities and one such event is Krishna Janmashtami.

1. Janmashtami: The birth ceremony of Lord Krishna

The literal meaning of Janmashtami is Janam+Ashtami i.e birth on the 8th day of the month on Amavasya. This is celebrated with various festivities in India.

In northern India, where actually Lord Krishna (8th incarnation of Lord Vishnu) took birth in the Mathura. In Mathura and Vrindavan, it is celebrated with lots and lots of festivities.

In the Digital age, whole social media is filled with the posts of Lord Krishna and his consort Radha Rani. Young children are dressed up in the form of bal Gopal(another name of Lord Krishna) and Radharani. Many cultural celebrations take place at the schools, where young children are dressed up as Krishna and Radha and perform in the school events or the community cultural events.

Choori(crumbled bread with lots of pure ghee and shakar) and gur jeera(jaggery cumin) is specially prepared at this festival. After moving to Switzerland, I really miss choori and gur jeera. While living in India, I never knew that Dhania Panjiri is equally offered to Lord Krishna at this time. As Lord Krishna took birth at midnight, so a special celebration happens at the midnight and those people who observe fast on Janamashtami, open their fast by looking at the full moon. As this is the monsoon season, it usually rains heavily at this time of the year.

Chatti pooja of Krishna takes place on the sixth day after his birth and it is believed that Lord Brahma write the fate of the baby on this day. And another mythological significance of this day is that 'Putna Vadh' also took place at the Chatti.On this day, in North India people make Dahi kadi.

In eastern India, the pooja and prayers take place usually at the home, and lots of Krishna's favorite delicacies are prepared at the home.

2. Teej or teeyan: I always stress at this point that traveling teaches you a lot. And, knowing something and registering something in mind are two different things. I have spend quite a good time in India and I know the panjabi community so well. However, I never knew that teeyan or teej is celebrated such a grand level in Panjab. What an irony!
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Khairatabad(in Hyderabad,India) Ganesh Pooja

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Bengali Durga Pooja and Lokhi Pooja

Bengali Durga pooja starts from Sashthi. We put Chandan and sindoor dots on all the door entrances to welcome ma Durga and goto the temple to give pooja and Anjali. Ladies observe niramish (Satvik Food) fast on the shashthi.

1. On Saptami, kola bau chan hoye. 
2. On Astami, anjali is must. For the pooja thali, sari, 5-types of fruits or vegetable, sandesh, agarbati, alta and sindoor, rice, takka. Again niramish food without rice. Sandhi arti is a must watch on ashtami.
3. On Nabami, pather mangshoin is must. Kumari pooja also happens on Nabami.
4. On Dashmi: mishthi i.e. sweets are must.
5. On the day of visarjan, sindoor kela will be done by married women. In the plate of sindoor khela, sindoor, sandesh, paan, jal or water is put. 
6. On Sharad Poornima: kojagori Lokhi Pooja happens in the evening. Lokhi feet's alpana is put on the door's entrance. Narkol Naaru is prepared for ma Lokhi along with chire, murki, and batasha.
7. In front of ma Lokhi, alpana is made. One plate with five types of cut fruits is prepared like apple, baedana or anaar, kheera or saosa.
8. A plate with chire, murki, batasha, dates, chawal ke naaru kind of.
9. Bhog for the thakur like niramish kopi aloor tarkari, baegun bhaja loochi.
10. Another plate with 5 types of mishti along with narkol naaru. A glass of water.
11. kosa kosi, agarbati, pardeep, kapoor dani, match stick, sindoor, ghee, conch, ghanti, no kasar and banana for lokhi pooja. Flower garland and lots of loose flower. Tulsi leave will be put in all the thakur offering. 

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How to organize and celebrate Diwali: Indian Autumn Festival or festival of Lights

1. Prepare and send the invitation and flyers
2. Create a Program for the evening: Welcome speech; Dance; Singing; Arti; Thank you
3. Food and table arrangement
4. Decoration
5. Sound system and projector
6. Welcome: Kumkum tilak and Rosewater
7. Performances
8. Flag of the country
9. Video recording and pictures of the event
10. Cleaning
11. Crackers
12. Contribution

Decoration material: Candles; tea lights; table; saree and cloths to cover the table and walls decoration; Rangoli at the entrance;Mandir; Pooja Thali; Kalash and plate; Coconut; rice; Mango and pan leaves; Beetle nuts; Fresh flowers and sweets; Electric light lamps; Ghee; Diya; Roli-moli; Haldi-kumkum;Rosewater; Fruits; Ganga Jal

 Process: 

1. Place the mandir on the table covered with a cotton cloth; You can keep small tables under the temple to make it little higher; place all the God and goddess in the temple. 
2. Place the kalash on a plate filled with rice, fill the kalash with some water and few rice grains; Put 5 mango leaves on the kalash and Coconut. Put 5 dots with kumkum and haldi on the coconut.Put a moli around the kalash. Cover the kalash with a red cloth or gamcha or a saree. Put a gold chain and any other decorative garland around the kalash. Put some silver coins on the rice plate and cash.Put some tulsi leaves in the kalsh and food offering.
3. Draw a swastika on the Kalash with the kumkum.
4. Prepare the pooja thali with flower, agarbati, dhoop, diya, ghanti, shankh.
5. Light the ghee lamp
6. Put a tray of sweets and fruits in front of the mandir table.
7. Put one supari each on 5 beetle leaves. 

Rangoli



Alpana

https://exploringworldforever.blogspot.com/2017/12/being-girl-or-women.html

My realizations with the religion

The religious or spiritual practice has become a close part of me since I got married. My husband is a very rational religious person, while mother-in-law is an orthodox religious. After moving to Canada, I got the opportunity to learn little about the Christianity and the Bible as well. I also practice the Buddhism as well. So, quite a lot of my time is invested in the religion. So, I keep reflecting on how these various things are connected and lead us towards becoming a good person. In this digital age, there are so many spiritual gurus and motivational speakers, health speakers who do connect medicines to the religious scriptures. So, a few days back, I was coming home on a rainy, windy weather with an umbrella in my one hand. I suddenly realized that religious or spiritual practice is also like an umbrella, it does not change our circumstances but gives us the courage to glide through the tough situations smoothly.

I am a born Hindu and also practicing Buddhism for a decade now. So, I kind of keep comparing both of these philosophies to see the things from different perspectives. I realized in Hinduism we are kind of so dependent on the deities that we almost lose confidence in our own true potential. While, in Nichiren Buddhism, we believe God or all the protective forces are dormant in our body and through human revolution we have to manifest this true potential.

Karma is one theory which is so prevalent in Hinduism and Buddhism too.

Death and life after death are two such concepts, which widely separate many eastern and western religious practices.

Food is another important thing, which distinguishes many religions like whether we should eat satvik food or non-veg food or halal or kosher meat.

Religion is so profound that we really need to expound on it to understand the subtle meaning of life or how to lead a good life. We usually say that Refrigerator or Air conditioner or television in our house has a manual, but life does not come with a manual. I believe this is partially true. Life does have a manual, which comes in the form of religion, provided we take time to read these religious books and reflect on this. So, in this regard is one such thing called Humility. We often feel hurt when we respect someone or do something good to others, but others don't meet our level of expectations. But, in the Hindu religious scriptures, it is clearly mentioned what are the four qualities of humility. 1. being low like a grass;2. being tolerant like a tree;3. Respect others;4. don't expect respect from others, if we cultivate these four qualities, then we don't have to suffer through the burden of expectations.

How my dream of a paradise got shattered : a breakin in Switzerland...what, really!!!

We are always taught not to be judgemental about people, things or places. But it is a natural human tendency, and we start judging things, people or places unconsciously.  Recently, we moved to Switzerland, which is known as the heaven on earth. We were very happy and kind of smoothly settled in. One evening, we reached home and saw the whole apartment on the floor. It was the worst thing that could happen to us in Switzerland, a daytime break-in our apartment. The whole image of the safest paradise on earth got shattered in seconds. Police registered the complain but could not capture the culprits. We did not have any insurance so the loss could not be compensated. The cause for this was given to summer and many tourists from the relatively poor east European countries like Romanian gangs, visit the relatively wealthy west European countries and do all these wrong things.

This incidence brought me closer to my Buddhist practice that we should always employ the wisdom no matter where we are. Where there are people, there are conflicts and crime.

Resume, CV and Interviews

There are a few questions that are always the part of an interview. I always remember the questions but feel challenged to address them as and when required. So, in this article, I have compiled a few interview questions with a brief guideline to answer them.

1. What is your strength? Tell about your achievements with a specific strength like analytical, detail oriented etc.
2. What are your weaknesses? tell about the challenge and how did you overcome it or what is currently challenging you and how are you taking steps to overcome it. For example, learning a new technical skill to work efficiently or how did you acquire new skills to organize yourself or for time management.
3. Introduce yourself: Basically, talk about your communication and interpersonal skills and your achievements and how did that make you interested in the current job, possibly with an anecdote.
4. Why should I hire you? Reiterate your work experience and technical and transferable skills.
5. Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? Like learn new skills and ladder up the management role or know more about the industry or ladder up the career.
6. Why do you want to leave the current company? You may get laid off due to management policies or fired or you are ready to take up more challenging roles.
7. Why are you interested in the company? Again research about the company and its mission.
8. Regarding salary negotiations: Women do not ask for a higher salary because they do not want to stir the waves. 
9. Always do your homework and see how much is being paid for your role in the market. Don't be pushy, but you want to be paid fair.
10.  Job transitions: We always put so much emphasis on how we are going to make the good first impression on the job, but the last impression is equally important. Discuss in advance about the transition plan with your manager, it is a difficult a talk but if you are able to pull it off gracefully, it further your reputation.